Ra-Ra For the Mystery Tour!

(Email to James Wittenbach)

Hey,
I am SO sorry...as usual...that I've taken a while to write. Being a bum can create unforeseen inconveniences. Basically, I moved out of my house towards the end of August, then proceeded to be homeless for a month and a half, bumming on couches, air mattresses, floor, rides and food from friends. Things have been major crazy for the past six months. It's a VERY long story involving a police chase, some ugly dogs, front page news, climbing a fifty-foot cliff, getting in a street fight with a mountain ram, meeting a famous movie star, secret phone negotiations about five-hundred dollars, car crashes, hallucinations, fancy acrobatics, a rainstorm and wildfires, and finally finding the meaning of life. It all happened, and it's been the craziest, funniest, scariest and most awesome time of my life.

I've got a terrible headache right now. Never listen to Pink Floyd and psychedelic Beatles while watching Tron and Steven Spielberg films. My friend Eric Smith and I have been having an old movies marathon. Right now we're sticking to chick flicks and Hitchcocks, well-dosed with some vanilla ice cream dabbled with fresh raspberries. Last night was The Philadelphia Story; tonight we're gonna tackle Rear Window or possibly North by Northwest. We're trying to hang out as much as possible in the next couple weeks before he leaves for the MTC. He got his mission call to serve in...drum roll, please....Washington, D.C. The south side. So there's a chance you will meet him - in which case, take good care of him. He's smart and funny - he could reasonably pass for a younger Jim Carrey.

I don't feel that much closer to serving a mission than I did at the end of the summer. I made the choice to do it, and now I am facing the consequences. I realized that I wasn't prepared to bear the weight of that decision...to be straight, and to be faithful. Sometimes I just walk around smiling and singing to myself over it, and at other times I crawl up in a corner at work, or I sit in the back of the bus as I start crying. What a wonderful life, eh?

Well, I've gotta get to work. I help tutor students at Utah Valley University with writing. It's fun, except it can be hard to tutor ESL students. Then I'm going to finish with my Halloween costume, so I am ready for a party tomorrow night, and an airsoft game on Saturday. We're emulating 28 Weeks Later; we're taking over an old mining town in southern Utah, and half of us are gonna be zombies. I'll send you some pictures.

I am the walrus! KOO-KOO-KA-CHOOB!!!
--Matthew